I received an email this weekend that kinda threw me for a loop. Take a gander into my inbox:
Hi Kallie,
I was referred to your site by a friend. She talked so highly of you and the things you promote, so naturally I was excited to head on over and read all the goodness she was talking about. After taking sometime to read, I was really disappointed and I wanted to let you know you should be ashamed of yourself and the things you promote there. Obesity is a serious problem and going around promoting that everyone should love themselves regardless of their weight is wrong. These people should feel bad because they are unhealthy. You said a few times you promote health over a size but I am not sure how you can think the two aren’t related. Maybe instead of promoting self love at any size you should be promoting fitness?! I am floored that you don’t understand when you promote self love at any size you are promoting obesity and that makes your mission a really sad one. I hope maybe this will motivate you to reevaluate the things you promote. Thanks for your time.
A concerned reader-
Oh boy! I am still in shock over this one but after some thought here is my response.
Dear Concerned Reader,
Thanks for taking the time to share your concerns with me. We might not agree on some things, but I will take it as a compliment you felt this was important enough for you to take the time to let me know how you felt. I think staying open to others is how we learn and grow so I am going to stay open in my response because I think we can both learn something here.
First things first, Yes, obesity is a serious problem and it causes a lot of health issues- We both agree on that. Where I think we disagree is that someones weight determines their worth. Worth is not attached to anything physical. Worth isn’t something you earn~ it is something that is yours because you exist. Worth comes from God and God said “the worth of a soul is great.” He didn’t say the worth of a skinny soul is great. He said the worth of ANY soul is great. A scale will never measure the amount of people you have influenced for good. A scale will never tell you how smart, kind, generous, brave, strong, and self-less you are. A scale will never tell you how many kind deeds you did or how honest and trustworthy you are. A scale will never be able to measure the amount of people who love you. A scale will never be able to measure your worth because worth comes from things that can’t be physically measured but from the feelings in ours and others hearts.
I am really trying to stay open here, but I am not sure why you think someone loving themselves at any size is me giving them permission to be obese?! Loving yourself does not mean there is not room to change or grow. Loving yourself is realizing you are worth the journey to health and happiness. So many times I think what holds people back from change is the belief they aren’t worthy of it. I promote self love at any size because EVERYONE is worth the journey to wherever they want to go. The weight in which they weigh on the scale does not change that in my eyes.
I do promote fitness. Exercising is a huge part of your health journey. What I don’t promote is attaching an unrealistic expectation to your exercise journey. Exercise because it makes you feel good. Exercise because you want to move your body. Exercise to be healthy, but please don’t abuse your body because you want it to weigh a certain number, or fit into a certain size jeans. Listen to your body and pay attention to how it feels and not how it looks. Health comes in all different sizes and shapes and it’s time we start recognizing that.
I just want you to know I thought a lot about what you said and I took it to heart. I might not have changed my mission but it helped me to understand I need to clarify what my mission is a little bit better.
My message is a simple one~ Your worth is not determined by a pant size or number on the scale. YOU ARE WORTH the journey. If that journey is weight loss, or happiness, or change YOU ARE WORTH IT! NOW and TOMORROW and the Day after that. Healthy is the goal here and that doesn’t mean just physically. That means mentally, and emotionally too.
Thanks again for taking the time to write me. I learned something from you and I hope you might also take something away from me. I mean isn’t that what this life is all about…learning from each other?
Sincerely,
Kallie
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